


He Has His Father's Eyes

by SPNFinalSeason (TheMightiestPen)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gadreel Possessing Sam Winchester, Gen, Horror, Sam POV, Season 9, in a first half of s9 from Sam's pov, sam centric, we're exploring the true horror potential
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMightiestPen/pseuds/SPNFinalSeason
Summary: Sam's losing time. He doesn't know why.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	He Has His Father's Eyes

He notices right away.

It’s not like it’s something subtle. He’s sitting with Dean, who’s halfway through a burrito, discussing Cas’ latest forays into human behavior. Dean is smiling, laughing, when his whole face shifts right away and he looks serious, somber. The burrito is now ¾ of the way done in that millisecond.

 _Huh_. Sam thinks, blinking again, half-worried the burrito will be completely gone when he does. It isn’t. _Guess I must’ve spaced out a little._

Dean stands up abruptly. “I’ll be right back,” He says, walking off. Sam nods, caught up in his own predicament.

 _It happens_ , he thinks, mind on the not-so-distant physical toll the trials took on his body. _But keep an eye on it._

* * *

Next, he’s running to Dean at Charlie _let her be alright please please please_ and rushes through the door, sees Charlie on the bed _no no no_ and Dean looking up with a “Zeke!”—

And then he’s opening his eyes on the floor, Dean telling him that the witch knocked him out (likely) but he can’t explain the Zeke thing, tells him he hit his head (possible) and…he’s confused, he is, but head injuries can do weird things so he’s leaving it at that.

* * *

He’s talking to Dean in the Impala, spotting a road sign counting down the miles. He blinks, and the miles are reduced by half. He didn’t even notice them go by.

He starts to check his watch obsessively after that.

* * *

Sam thinks maybe he should be dead. That his neck should be sliced open, leaving him to choke out a slow and painful demise. It knocks him to the side, but he turns back and he’s alright, just some blood (that he doesn’t know the source of) and the phantom pain and the look on his attacker’s face, like he thinks he should be dead too.

This one, he’ll take. This one, he decides to ignore.

* * *

One time, he’s standing in the library, sorting through and organizing the books on the shelves. He’s running his fingers along the spines, mouthing through the titles and trying to give them a semblance of order. His finger ghosts over a book on poltergeists, and then hits chrome as he finds himself in the kitchen instead, running a hand through the pots and pans in the kitchen cupboard.

He blinks, steps back. Lifts his watch. 8 pm. It was 3 when he started looking at the books.

Sam’s heart pounds in his chest. He weakly makes his way over to the closest chair, collapses into it. He buries his head in his hands and tries his best not to lose any more time.

* * *

Dean’s weird behavior in concert with all of this makes it even more confusing. He’ll start sentences that begin one way and end another, he’ll stop talking and stare at Sam expectantly, he’ll give Sam weary glances, like he doesn’t know who he is. Sam thinks it’s a Dean problem at first but then remembers the spacing out and realizes he could be spacing out mid conversation. This really scares him.

But that doesn’t explain everything Dean is doing these days. He’ll say things that make no sense and never explains them, and he’s strangely unconcerned about the hints Sam’s giving him about something being wrong. Even if this is the Trials, wouldn’t Dean be more concerned about it? Wouldn’t he want to look into this, into whatever’s happening? Because this isn’t normal. This can be dangerous.

 _Or maybe_ , Sam thinks. _Maybe he knows I’m not normal. And I never will be._

* * *

He tries to talk to Dean about it. He’s honest. He pours his heart out. He tells Dean that maybe this is the best he’s ever gonna get. That he’s gonna keep losing time and memory and his grip on reality until he ends up in a hospital again, not even knowing his own name.

Dean’s upset and then he isn’t, and just tells Sam he’s gonna be okay. Sam doesn’t know if he believes him. He’s scared he’s missed something again.

* * *

And then, it’s too late.

Sam’s sitting with Dean and Kevin in the map room, leaning back, legs outstretched onto another chair. He’s typing up some research, half-listening until he hears Kevin make a joke at Dean’s expense. He can feel a smile coming on as he looks up and opens his mouth—

And then he’s sitting on his bed, straight-backed until he throws himself back and hits headboard. His clothes are different and the smell of dirt suffuses him, his shoes caked in grass and mud. His hair is behind his ears.

Sam sits there for a second, chest heaving, before throwing his legs out to the side and standing. He checks his pockets (phone’s there) and his watch (1 pm…it had been 4 pm last he looked), then runs shaking hands over his body. Everything’s there, he lifts up his shirt (no new scars) and checks his jeans (no new scars).

He looks at his hands, and there’s something under his nails. Something dried and dark.

He opens his mouth in a scream that never comes.


End file.
